When I decided to start a blog I knew at some point I was going to have to tap out a down beat entry reporting back on a bad day at the office. Here it is.These past weeks have been filled with preperation for my first ever race in an England vest off the back of April's London Marathon. It was a real honour to get the vest and I set about preparing from late July after a mixed summer where I felt I raced reasonably, nothing special. But as I considered the Marathon my number one event (especially after London) I could understand some of the performances I put in during those months.
I met up with Adrian Marriott and Paul Molyneux at Gatwick Airport on the Thursday. Adrian was managing the team and is a guy I have a great deal of time for. Paul is someone I know from London this year as he was one place ahead of me that day. Also at the airport was one of the ladies - Sarah Stradling.
The flight over was uneventful but we soon made the hotel and set off for an easy run to shake the legs out. Just a four mile jog. I was relieved that my hamstring, which for some reason had gotten very tight on a 10 mile effort on the Tuesday (with a couple of miles at marathon pace), was fine. We sat down to a plate of carbs and chatted before bed. As I was putting my head down Michael Green, who I was rooming with, arrived in from his base in Alabama. His unique accent of Lancashire/Southern American blend was unique enough. I could tell I was going to get on well with Micheal and did so.
Also in town was Nigel Stirk from Tipton, who'd been brought in to pace a Russian woman looking for a quick time. Nigel's a good lad and we had a real crack together. The mood was good but I felt apprehensive. I never ever feel 100% confident ahead of a marathon. This was no exception.
Friday we headed into the Expo to attend a press conference. The main topic of discussion was Canadian Reid Coolsaet's attempt at the 36 year old Canadian record. The weather was looking distinctly rubbish at this point, with strong gusts and rain forcast for race day. This didn't deter Coolsaet, who was going to have a crack at the record. We were approached by another Canadian who wanted to nail 2:21. I found myself agreeing to getting amongst a group setting out at this pace. I hadn't planned something so specific in my head, but Michael and Paul were talking about going out at this pace and running a negative split so I agreed to it as the aim was for 70:30 at the half way point - slower than my midway London split.
The rest of the time was spent relaxing about the hotel and getting carbs and water in. The Kenyans stocked up on food by just robbing it from the eating area and loading their bags with it. I could scarcely believe the amount of Coke these boys guzzle.
I ran the morning before the race and felt pretty damned good. Just easy jogging as you'd expect, but I was bouncy and the hamstring issue wasn't evident. The day was spent lounging and taking a stroll to get some fresh air. I got some more carbs and loads of water and the usual PSP22 down me.
The night before the race was a pre race briefing and everyone was labelling up their bottles and getting them ready for the tables at the pre determined drink stations. I'd decided not to complicate things by doing this as I normally only drink water and this was readily available all over the course. I tucked a gel into my shorts for the 30km point. I was keen to replicate London as much as possible.
Me and Michael chatted in our room before dozing off and after a decent night's sleep I was up and about feeling fairly neutral about the race. I was slighly anxious about keeping with the pace group, but the wind had eased off somewhat as we took a look outside. The temperature was spot on and there was no rain. In Amsterdam at the same time my brother was finishing his Marathon as I contemplated mine.
We were ferried across to the elite preperation area in the Scotiabank building just 600 yards from the start and started to gather ourselves for the effort. It was strange that I was laughing and joking with the others despite feeling pretty tense. I'd been having headaches for a good few days, which I put down to a bit of tension to be honest, and this morning I had an absolute bastard of a headache, but I didn't let it worry me at all. It certainly wasn't due to dehydration as I was pissing for England at this point with regular trips to the toilet.
Micheal, Paul and the girls seemed really relaxed and I think I was keen to appear to be likewise despite not quite feeling with it. As we packed our bags to one side and left to go out to the start I got a little jogging done, not too much. We finalised our plans to set off together. I did worry a little that Michael's last marathon was a 2:20.20 effort and he nailed a low 65 half back in the spring. Maybe I was a little hasty in agreeing to head off with them, but we weren't planning any fireworks through half way, so it shouldn't had been any problem.
The gun popped and we headed downhill, which was something we were cautious of. Michael, Paul and the Canadian guys were just ahead of me after a couple of minutes, maybe just 10 yards. I was eager to be running alongside them so eased up to them and said a few words to Michael and Paul. This felt like more of an effort than it should have. Going through the first 1km I already felt I was working harder than I should have been. There were pot holes and tram lines everywhere on the road at this point.
My point of reference for the entire build up and pre-race preperation had been London back in April. I was looking to not exactly replicate that training but at least do similar with a similar result. The early miles at London were an absolute breeze. At Toronto I was having to work to grind it out far too early in the race.
The first water stop was 5km and both Michael and Paul grabbed their bottles. As mentioned, I was happy with cups but could see a passing around of drinks. I had to close some yards up to take a bottle and a quick swig. We exchanged words. At 5km in London these were fairly long exchanges with Richard Scott, at Toronto they were snatched words between breaths as I concentrated on keeping pace. The watch digits were just over 17 minutes at 5km and reflected the wind, but again I was just working way too hard.
I tried to keep calm and knew the course swung back towards the city at 11km, so wanted to give myself a chance to start feeling decent from then on with the benefit of the wind. I was still on the back of the group through 10km in a sluggish 34:12.
We swung around at 11km and the group broke up. Both me and a Canadian fell back and Michael and Paul forged on with some other guys. My hamstring was starting to twitch and I was being dropped from a slow pace. It dawned. I was having a bad day.
 |
| Being dropped at about 14k |
I grabbed some water out of habit, but small sips developed into a slight stitch. I've read Dave Norman saying that the low point of a marathon does tend to get lower, and here this was in glorious technicolour. My England team mates were off up the road and I had to gather myself to just finish the race. My mood became deeply negative and my hamstring got tighter. I couldn't see me getting through without that becoming a big problem. My 15km split was no faster than when I was into the wind, so in real terms I was already slowing as my 5km split was the same as previous. Bad times indeed.
It was here that I asked myself a question, if I was out on a long run on a Sunday, and I felt this shit, could I see it through? The answer was yes. I asked myself then, could I finish this long run? The answer was no. I was contemplating the inevitable.
I DNF'd in Amsterdam in 2005 and felt similar that day. The splits were no great shakes, and I was working way too hard too early on. That day I stepped off the road at 19km. The same as this. I walked 50 yards away from the road into a small harbour area. I took a long breath and accepted what had happened. The same thing that has effected Haile and Paula. I'd pulled out of a marathon. I was gutted, standing there in my England threads. Totally dejected.
The worst feeling was having to tell people and explain. Surely they'd just think I'd been a pussy, bailed out when it got tough. Couldn't hack it. Having to explain to the other guys in the team what had happened would be horrible. Dealing with the disappointment would be worse.
If I'm honest with myself, my training just didn't click as I wanted from early August. My little girl got ill and I spent a lot of time dealing with that, training through it. I then ran some hefty weeks, with my biggest week of training ever, not a huge jump from my London volume to be fair, but it was too much I think. My Achilles were both sore for weeks and weeks, without ever developing into a 'proper' injury. I had some really tired weeks through the build up, the half marathon I didn't finish properly should have sent alarm bells ringing, and it did.
Michael ran a superb race. He said he would try to run negative splits and did so. I was very impressed. He went through 10km in 34:12 and would go on to run 2:22:54. Paul, who admitted later he was forcing it through 10km, and was with Michael at half way, ran 2:29:29 - so obviously struggled quite badly. Nigel had done a cracking job bringing the Russian through to 30km and deserved any reward coming his way tangible or otherwise in the Dublin Marathon in two weeks. Both the ladies put in solid efforts.
At the moment I'm just trying to let the dust settle before planning anything. My gut feeling is, yes I do want to have another go at it. I need to weigh up my work and family commitments and my commitment to running. I also need to ensure my hamstring is ok and maybe give it a few days. I'd like my Achilles to ease off as well. I was offered an elite start in the Dublin Marathon in two weeks, but that wouldn't be possible. My mental state wouldn't allow it as I'm now fairly flat in that department and need to get off the canvas.
I met some great people in Toronto. I can see me meeting up and training with Paul, Michael is in the US permanently, but is someone I'd like to keep in touch with and meet up with when he comes over to the UK next time. Nigel was a great bloke, Adrian managed the trip brilliantly and is someone I've known for some time now. Tim Hutchings was over for TV commentary telling it as it is and pulling no punches over a pint or seven. The Canadians were geniune, Reid Coolsaet who ran 2:10:55 for third place was keen to find out about my own preperation despite being an Olympian and all that entails. Nice people.
So there it is, one good marathon and one total disaster in 2011. I'm down but not out, and I have come back from these setbacks before.